


Guardians

by snowflakeimagines



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Gen, Humor, Light Angst, Reader's gender is not specified, Underfell Sans (Undertale), meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28110711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflakeimagines/pseuds/snowflakeimagines
Summary: Sans is up at 3 AM. There’s a human who’s been hired to kill him hiding in his backyard, but he’s not all that worried about it.
Relationships: Papyrus & Sans (Undertale), Sans (Undertale) & Reader
Kudos: 6





	Guardians

**Author's Note:**

> the-moon18 asked: 98. ❛ I’ve been hired to kill you, but you don’t seem that concerned??? ❜ with UF! Sans (can it be platonic? Please thank you-)
> 
> I’m not sure if I’ve ever gotten a request for something purely platonic before… This was fun!

There was a human in Sans’ backyard: namely, you. Sans could see you creeping your way from the bushes to the back door. You looked like a teenager trying to sneak into their crush’s house. Stars, it was three in the morning! Sans was supposed to be asleep by now, but insomnia’s a bitch and so are you for waking him up just when he was about to conk out. 

“screw this,” Sans grumbled and violently opened his window. “oi, the hell are you doin’ out there?! i can see you! yeah, you’re real scared now, ain’tcha! yeah! don’t skitter back into the bushes, moron! i saw you! fuckin’ hell, humans are weird…” He rubbed his face with his hands. Should he call Papyrus? Anime night was probably over by now and Papyrus was probably asleep. Sans didn’t want to wake him up, even if this was kind of an emergency. The internal debate went on until he finally got his phone and called his brother.

It took Papyrus far longer than usual to pick up. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” he grumbled.

“sorry for wakin’ ya up, boss, but uh… there’s a human in the backyard.”

“WHAT?” Papyrus sounded wide awake now. “WHO IS IT? WHAT ARE THEY DOING?”

Sans watched you poke your head out of the bushes. He glared at you and you immediately retreated into your hiding spot. “the human’s a fuckin’ weirdo ‘s all i know. creep’s just sitting in the bushes. i think they wanna get in the house. how d’ya want me to handle this?”

The other side of the line went quiet save for the sound of rustling and footsteps. Then Papyrus’ voice returned, firm and solemn as he told Sans exactly what to do. “I’LL BE THERE SOON,” Papyrus said before he hung up.

Sans took a shortcut to the backyard, turned your soul blue, and lifted you up unceremoniously. There wasn’t anyone else hiding in the backyard, as far as he could tell. You were the only one here, and you didn’t even seem to be armed. He performed a check on you. You didn’t have any LV or EXP, either. If this was meant to be an ambush, it was the shittiest one he’d ever had to deal with. Not that he was complaining. 

“so,” he said to you, “why are you… y’know.” He gestured to you and then the backyard. “you woke me up at a real shitty time, so this better be good.”

You swallowed and set your jaw. “I-I’ve come to kill you, skeleton.”

Sans snorted. “hats off to you, squirt. yer doin’ a swell job.” He brought you closer to inspect you. “i do gotta ask, though: why me? i’m not exactly a celebrity.”

“They said you’re an easy target,” you croaked. That wasn’t the first time Sans had heard that. A long time ago, practically everyone in the underground had mistaken him for easy EXP. It didn’t take much for him and Papyrus to prove them very, very wrong. Sans wanted to do the same to you, but it seemed that you weren’t finished talking. “It’s… It’s either you or my family. I have to do this. I can’t mess up, or else they’ll… they’ll…” You choked on a sob.

Your family was on the line? Sans looked you up and down. Whoever sent you must’ve done so with the intention of getting rid of you. “a’ight. here’s what’s gonna happen.” He set you back down on the ground, though he wasn’t letting your soul go just yet. “i’m not lettin’ ya kill me. i’m not lettin’ yer family die either. we’re gonna work out a plan, you ‘n me. but first, we’re gonna get some mean cream ta calm ya down, okay?” This was deviating slightly from Papyrus’ plan, but surely he’d let this slide. 

“Okay,” you mumbled.

“cool, ‘cause ya don’t really have any other choice.” Sans grabbed your arm and teleported to the kitchen. “what’s your favorite flavor?”

“I—”

“just kiddin’. we only got one flavor and it’s mean.” He took a small carton of mean cream out from the pile in the back of the freezer and tossed it to you. It bounced off your torso and onto the floor. Right. He released your soul and you stooped to pick the mean cream up. “don’t let the name fool ya. this line of the stuff works wonders. i eat it as a lil midnight snack to help me fall asleep sometimes.”

You opened the carton and picked up the little spoon inside it with trembling fingers. After a few bites, you spoke again. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Sans shrugged. “maybe i just feel like it. maybe i see myself in ya. who knows? i’m a monster, squirt. i know what it’s like to be forced to kill.” He took a seat at the kitchen island, beckoning for you to do the same. You obeyed reluctantly and sat across from him. “don’t worry. we’ll find a way ta help ya.”

You forcefully swallowed the massive amount of mean cream in your mouth and asked, “We?”

“yeah. me n’ my bro. i gave him a call when i saw you in the backyard. he’ll be here any second now.” Sans glanced at the carton of mean cream you were holding. “sucks that ya won’t be awake to talk to him, though.”

Your gaze slowly drifted from his face to the mean cream. Sans watched your eyes go wide and your mouth fall open in horror. “D-Did you… Is…”

“i did tell ya that i eat this when i can’t fall asleep sometimes. tastes good, don’t it?” Sans grinned. “almost makes me forget that the magic in there knocks you out _cold_ in under a minute.” He chuckled, even as you began to slump forward onto the table. “get it? _cold?_ ‘cause it’s ice cream? geez, no need ta gimme the _cold_ shoulder.”

“Why?” you whispered.

“i figured you’d prefer this over gettin’ concussed with a bone.”

“No… I mean… I thought…”

Sans turned his head to the window. “heh. sorry, squirt, but ya can’t blame me for not wantin’ ta trust someone who got hired to kill me. i gotta know if yer story checks out.” He looked at you again and his expression softened to something of sympathy. “but if it’s true that all ya want is to protect yer family… well, that makes two of us.”

You didn’t respond. Sans slid off his stool and got on the one next to your unconscious body. With a hand placed gently on your head, he sat back and waited for Papyrus to arrive.

**Author's Note:**

> and then they embark on an epic journey of adventure and found family!!
> 
> (Find me and my other works on [Tumblr!](https://snowflakeimagines.tumblr.com))


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